With this eventful year coming to a close and most likely an equally eventful year on the horizon I took time to sit down and look back on my accomplishments this year and my goals for the next. 

But, I was left comparing my accomplishments to someone else's successes and writing down goals that didn't completely feel like my own. They felt like things I wanted to accomplish based on what I saw someone else had or has done. 

I was left wondering: 

How do I get out of this state of comparison? What do I truly want? What is my version of success? What have I done this year relative to last?

Before being able to analyze my accomplishments and set goals for the next year the most important things that I had to confront was my habit of comparing myself to others and determining my definition of success and what that might look like for me. 

Getting out of the habit of comparison is a constant struggle for me and it's something that I have to catch myself doing and tell myself that all I'm doing is making myself feel bad. I'm currently trying to figure out if I can, instead of comparing myself in a destructive way, if I can look at it as a competition and use that to motivate me and push me forward. For me that's a thin line to toe. Either I cause myself more harm by destructive comparison or I become overly competitive which can again become destructive. I suppose life is nothing but a balancing act anyways. 

As for what my version of success is... I think I'm going to have to keep it to myself. I'm still not done cultivating the vision of it and I feel like it's constantly evolving. It might only be as useful for as long as I have these goals, or for as long as I have this current mindset, or this current belief system. I could come by a book or a person that completely changes or challenges my version of success. Should it be a long term definition of success that is more vague or short term that is more detailed? We can probably determine that I think too much, and maybe should've majored in another degree I can't use like philosophy.

Anyways, here are cute pictures of me enjoying the Atlanta Botanical Gardens.